James Bauer [ His Secret Obsession Review ]…and the “Hero Instinct”

“His Secret Obsession” by James Bauer gives any woman who reads it a valuable advantage.  Bauer’s newest book reveals unfair secrets to us men’s innermost desires to feel like women’s heroes.

james bauer his secret obsession reviewThis  follow-up to Bauer’s’ first super popular PDF, “What Men Secretly Want”, digs deep into the “hero instinct” principle. It feels as if James hacked my mind while creating his newest dating guide PDF for women.

He understands my fears and desires as a man and packaged these secrets into the eBook.

Lightening Quick Summary of James Bauer ‘s “His Secret Obsession” eBook: Want a man to commit to a long-term relationship? Understand why men love to feel like heroes and use that knowledge to entice your man to desire to routinely win your approval. Men cannot resist feeling you need them to solve a problem (any problem- big or small).

Learn how to turn men into chasers because he feels what you want is best for him.

Align both his wants and yours (while still encouraging him to accomplish his life goals), and he will never leave your side.

Put this eBook into the wrong woman’s hands and some poor guy is F—-d ! Advanced male-mind hacks.

Embrace the concept of Jame’s male “Hero Instinct” and you will accelerate your quest to find Mr. Right or create a deep emotional connection with your current boyfriend.

[Us men are suckers- EVERY TIME – to help the “damsel in distress”. Become a master of James Bauer’s “Damsel in Distress Signal” on page 124]. I realize this doesn’t exactly encourage you to embrace girl power, but you do want to meet in the middle with men, right?

“Yes, I want to embrace the ancient and delicate balance of the male and female polarities.” Say it aloud please.

Overview of “His Secret Obsession”


“His Secret Obsession”


James Bauer, Relationship Coach and owner of BeIrrestible.com

Other eBooks by Author

“What Men Secretly Want”


♦213 page PDF eBook (Instant download upon purchase and email delivery via Clickbank.com)

Read eBook online at BeIrrestible.com with Exclusive Members Access

Audio Version (Same delivery method as PDF)


His Secret Obsession Text Message Formulas- 20 Page PDF (Same delivery method as main product)

Audio Version (Same delivery method as PDF)


[$47] paid via PayPal or credit card on Clickbank.com’s Secure SSL site

Money Back Guarantee

60 Day Money Back “No Questions Asked” Guarantee by Contacting Clickbank.com’s Customer Service via phone or Online Form

(*I’ve personally experienced prompt customer service with Clickbank and I found overall online positive reviews from other customers too.)

Brief Description

Most in-depth male mind hack ebook I’ve read to date!

Expect to learn the feelings that drive men to desire your company– and not some other woman’s (the “hero instinct” forms the basis of this male drive).

James Bauer’s main message revolves around understanding men ‘s need to pursue their career goals simultaneously while succeeding as your provider.  DON”T MISUNDERSTAND this mindset. In this case provider refers to us men’s need to feel confident that we fulfill you emotionally and financially (we earn a sufficient amount that you won’t see us a burden).

James reveals the scientific reasons an ingrained DNA message passed from generation-to-generation screams at us that if we don’t fulfill you emotionally and financially then you will seek a man who can.

BUT if you disrupt our need to accomplish our goals outside of the relationship then we will not feel complete for our own satisfaction which leads to us NOT wanting to commit.

NO, “His Secret Obsession” is not perfect and I will reveal my PROs and CONs in this review. (No dating eBook for women is, in fact, everyone contains items the others don’t.)

The intention of this detailed, unbiased review of BeIrrestible.com ‘s James Bauer ‘s newest PDF dating tips download is to provide you with an insider’s look.

At the end of this review you can decide on your own to purchase your own copy or not.

I’m only here to provide you information and offer my opinions- not to sell you.

Who WILL BENEFIT from “His Secret Obsession” by James Bauer

  • If you see yourself as someone who takes action (you won’t just digest the tips and research in this eBook andhis secret obsession james bauer hero instinct do nothing).
  • Enjoy reading dating and relationship self-help eBooks.
  • You can digest several deep, psychology concepts.
  • Feel open-minded to expose yourself to never-seen-before principles and theories that influence male behaviors (at least I’ve never seen them).
  • Women who desire a long-term relationship and have time to date.
  • If you already have a boyfriend, but want to feel a deeper bond with him and dream of getting married one day.
  • Believe true love exists and that you deserve it (which you do).
  • You do not see men as pigs (well, at least not all of them), instead you separate the immature “commitment-phobes” from the relationship-oriented men.


Who Will NOT BENEFIT from “His Secret Obsession” by James Bauer

  • You do not want to invest time and energy to understand men.
  • Women who refuse to accept (or believe) men need to feel like heroes, that helping you (at least feeling like we are) fulfills us.
  • You do not want to take the time to understand this concept. Instead you believe it means they give up their independence instead of seeing how both partners can fulfill each other and still not give up their freedoms.
  • Women who do not want to accept reality of what they may see as simple minded male concepts listed in this eBook.
  • Those who do not seek a deeper relationship with their current boyfriend.
  • If you fear a long-term relationship due to the pain of previous break-ups (at the bottom of this post I recommend an alternative product and direct you to its detailed review).

The Good and Bad Points of “His Secret Obsession”

I realize you demand an inside glance before you purchase (a sort of trial run- although you do receive a lengthy 60-day-money-back guarantee) and not a sales pitch. Let’s face it. The eBook and bonus cost $47 (remember you do receive audio versions too).

In this section I list my Positive and Negative points of this product for you.

Unlike other James Bauer reviews on the internet I identify legitimate negatives so it leaves you no surprises if you decide to buy your own copy of His Secret Obsession.

  • Book starts with interesting, attention-grabbing story regarding a secret powerful text message. I like strong intros.
  • The eBook seeks to teach you techniques how to enhance each other’s happiness (for the both of you if already in a relationship OR enticing a man to see you as a source of happiness).
  • Reveals many adaptable men mindset secrets you can adjust to your circumstances. The main male mind hack is the hero instinct- men love to feel like women’s heroes.
  • Provides a few action tips early (Short 12-word and 4-word text messages to entice any man to respond). I agree with the text and explanation of why it works.
  • Fills you in on what we men need in a relationship to fulfill us
  • What makes us men decide to commit in first place…and what makes us run away 
  • his eBook addresses the answer to why we can’t live without some women…and what some women do to scare us off.
  • References psychologists’ studies (like on page 122 to Douglas LaBier’s theory of “radical transparency”). Seems like James dug deeper into creating a quality product by combining his experience with others’.
  • Helps women at different relationship stages including searching for new partner and after one begins to draw a man in closer emotionally.
  • Addresses real, inner-man needs and encourages you not to fight human nature like on page 124 where James encourages women to acknowledge our need to impress women (HENCE the “Hero Instinct” once again).
  • Packages action-oriented eBook/audio you can start using today.
  • [Bonus eBook/audio]Secret Text Message Formulas” provide ready-to-use-right-now text message techniques to employ which spark his curiosity to the point he itches so bad to find out more he cannot resist. He responds. The only problem with the eBook I have is he repeats this bonus at the final part of the main eBook “His Secret Obsession”. This makes the main product appear longer than it actually is.

  • He repeats many of the same concepts and action steps throughout the eBook. I understand this could help aid in retention of his points, but just when you think you are learning something new you go back over something you already read.
  • All men want to feel like heroes, but not all modern men relate to his military and war examples, I believe men nowadays get emotionally during romantic comedies and love stories.
  • Despite some applicable, real-life examples at the beginning part, the book spews too many similar-sounding terms and overloads you with theory (at least for me, but I love deep discussions)
  • Not enough immediate follow up examples. You’ll have to wait find the majority of side-by-side examples in the second part of the book.
  • Due to the information overload (over a rather long book for eBook standards- 213 pages) you will most likely have to re-read certain sections to digest the deep concepts.
  • You will have to swallow some pride at times and give up on your girl power to put these concepts to work (NOT ALWAYS- but definitely sometimes). Sorry. Us men desire feminine qualities BUT we also (usually) love strong girls (I certainly do).

Start Reading “His Secret Obsession” in the next 60 seconds…

Click here to purchase a copy of James Bauer ‘s eBook and audio from his secure site.

(Watch his animated 5 minute video that reveals some “Hero Instinct”)

My Top [Most Powerful] Modules of James Bauer’s “His Secret Obsession” [Inside Peek]

Part I: How the Hero Instinct Works

Module 1: The Secret Longing of Every Man (page 14) 

Learn to channel your man’s deepest passions towards wanting a relationship with you.

Module 2: The Unspoken Desire He’ll Never Admit (page 25)

Your man’s highest goal is to feel like your hero (whether you accept it or not), but he will not ask you to fulfill this need- you must learn how to invite him.

Module 5: Why Men Say, “I’m just not ready” (page 55)

A man will ignore the desires for love in order to achieve an identity he can feel proud of.

Module 9: How to become His Secret Obsession (page 102)

Position yourself at the center of his sense of purpose- become his secret obsession.

Part II: How to Use the Signals

Module 15: The Secret “Currency” Of Happy Relationships (page 161)

Learn to send out your “hero instinct” signal to strengthen the bond between you and your man.

Module 16: The “I Owe You” Signal (page 165)

Learn how to tap into the human nature quirk psychologists call “the foot in the door effect” which influences your man to agree to a small request that increases the likelihood he will agree to follow-up to a second larger request.

Module 17: The “Damsel in Distress” Signal (page 168)

Learn to send out a call for help and he will come running to your rescue. He won’t resist.

Text Message Formulas (page 182)

How “Curiosity Phrases” Can Keep Him Engaged (page 198)

Master the power of curiosity to grab his attention at any given moment.


(My) Top 22 Key Points of “His Secret Obsession”

Here I personally hand-pick some of the most relevant tips to speed up your goal of hooking your man.

1. The secret that enhances his interest in both physical intimacy and romance. (bottom of page 31 and top page 32)

2. Why men fear commitment. (page 34)

3. How to turn your relationship into his mission to make him feel like a hero. (page 35)

4. The Fascination Trigger

…find out why men are wired to fall in love and what he instinctively craves and why you struggle to pin him down. (starts page 41)

5. How “propinquity” plays major role to influence which two people end up marrying each other. (page 43-44)

6. How anticipation of pleasureful experiences energizes us to keep moving forward and how the opposite is true (page 46)

7. The Fascination Formula 

3 keys to activate his hero instinct(page 53)

…and the 5 steps [The Deserted Island Signal] to take him from grabbing his attention through fascination and triggering his love interest in you (bottom page 53-54)

8. The Knight Phase, Prince Phase and King Phase

…How they tie into a man’s sense of purpose at each stage and what he wants from you in order for him to commit to a long-term relationship (starts page 57)

9. Power of Celebrating a Shared Success

…and why he must see you share in the celebration of his goal-accomplishing progress. (at bottom of special pop-up section p 61)

10. Manliness and the Drive to Provide

…Why men wired to provide through a sense of reward and fear of loss (this ties into why men suffer when wife dies or cheats) (starts page 62)

11. Why he will not feel complete in the relationship until he feels like he could become a successful provider. (page 64)

12. If he feels he will fail you as a provider then he fears you will not approve of him later, you may leave (I have experienced this and the fear drives me to make this a successful website–explain further) (page 65)

13. Introduction to Becoming His Obsession

…the 5 step process (a sequence that builds each step in order) to ignite his desire to want a long-term relationship with you. (page 66)

14. The Orca Analogy

…the comparison between the reward system used to train killer whales at SeaWorld and how to gradual increase his desire to keep wanting  to earn your approval and affection. (starts top of page 68)

…with real-life examples of how to increase affection in short spurts (page 70)

15. How to Appear Needy and Clingy- (how to kill his “hero instinct”)

Read the contrasting examples: “needy” vs “be my hero”. Very important. We run from women who do not understand this concept. It played a major role in killing the emotional connection in my first long-term relationship. (bottom of page 76 to top of page 77)

16. The Two Special Goal Qualities

How to avoid needing to revive and rekindle romance later- you’ll never lose it to begin with.

Example of how to use the Momentum Method that builds excitement and cheat-proofs your relationship and kills boredom and depression. (pages 95-96)

17. How to Boost Your Romantic Appeal

Understand and Embrace His Need to Impress You: “The Damsel in Distress Signal”.  This works every time with me and any man. Become irresistible to him with the Damsel in Distress mind hack(page 124)

18. Small Bites to Big Chunks: Build Tiny Requests into the Bigger Things Your Really Desire

…and still make him happy without manipulative tricks. “The Foot in the Door Technique” and “The I Owe You Signal” (starts on page 136- real-life example on page 166)

19. [Action Steps] The Phrases (and Questions) to Help Him Imagine Breaking the Normal Routine

…and living a life full of excitement. “Glimpse Phrases” (starts on page 155)

…and the powerful effective of “what if” questions and sample stories (page 157)

20. [Action Steps] Appreciation Phrases to Ignite His “Hero Instinct” (starts on page 161)

21. Switch on his “serve and protect mode”: More “Damsel in Distress Signals” (page 171) and Bad Examples that Kill the “Hero Instinct” in him (page 172)

22. Four Key ingredients to the “Damsel in Distress Signal”- what makes it work (top of page 173)…and the false “Damsel in Distress Signals” that will make him despise you and their missing ingredients

[Bonus Story]: How James Saved a Marriage

James Bauer’s real-life therapy session that saved a dying marriage between a woman nearing retirement who was ready to give up on her relationship because her husband prioritized his best friend over her. It brought tears to my eyes. (starts on page 174)


“His Secret Obsession” Summary

Someone once told me that after you read 5 books on any subject you become an expert of it.

James Bauer filled his newest eBook to boost your confidence that you’ll achieve the long-term relationship you long for.

“His Secret Obsession” will become one of those 5 books to teach you how to understand men’s relationship needs.

Between the “Hero Instinct“, “The Fascination Formula“, “Orca Analogy” and the “Damsel in Distress Signal” you’ll will find yourself equipped with enough male inner mind secrets to speed up your success. “His Secret Obsession” will put you on the straight and narrow path to either find Mr. Right or help you develop a deeper emotional connection with your current boyfriend.

The one major issue I can see many of you running into with this PDF download is information overload. The main product alone lasts 213 pages and the first 2/3 of the book throws a lot of deep psychological theories at you with few practical examples.

The last 1/3 of the content finally matches the mindsets with simple-to-follow, ready-to-use examples. Don’t misunderstand me, the first part contains some, but you find yourself tied up in knots at times differentiating the terms. As long as you don’t mind re-reading sections the suggestions will definitely help (if you enjoy internalizing deep, multifaceted psychology).

Alternative Choice to “His Secret Obsession”

One piece this eBook could address thoroughly is how to differentiate the players from the men who want a relationship. James gives you tips how to flirt and connect with a man emotionally, but how do you know if you are wasting your time with the wrong guy?

“Why He Disappeared” by woman’s dating coach Evan Marc Katz shares more tips how to turn a man onto the idea of committing to a relationship, but also instructs you how to read immature male behavior and how to get rid of these time wasters from your life.

Read this detailed review here of “Why He Disappeared”.

But if you seek to marry one time and do it right the first time then I suggest you study as many tips as possible including reading both these books, their bonus books and as many as possible.

Over prepared is better than under-prepared.

Download your copy of His Secret Obsession. (You will redirect to watch James Bauer ‘s video then click the button at end of it to purchase/download on Clickbank.com ‘s secure SSL encrypted site)

james bauer his secret obsession book

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8.8 Total Score

Overall Score
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